Use the people controlling birth as birth control.

The Republican Party decimated abortion rights, and now they’re coming after contraceptives. Soon, we’ll be left with only one option. Abstinence. But don’t worry, horny people! We have just the solution—introducing Congress Sutra, a guide to abstinence, featuring the ultimate turn-off: anti-abortion Republicans.

Flip through 30 pages of pussy-drying, boner-killing leaders in naughty positions. And no, we’re not talking about their legislative roles. Contemplating sex will become so distasteful that abortion is no longer necessary!

So, in a country where gross politicians are trying to control your body—control yourself.